What am I doing?

That is somewhat of a tough question. Basically fallen off the face of the earth. (Its been kinda fun....disapearing for a while that is.) Right after Mozi I went to Whitcha Falls, Texas to be with my parents for about 6 weeks. After desperately needing to get out of there, I moved to Roswell (where I am currently) for about 7 months. In march i had an incredible opportunity to go to California to be mentored by a wise man of God. The offer was to go out to Cali to learn and grow in the gifts and callings that God had placed in my life, to travel with him and his team all over the world, most importantly to be mentored, my lifelong desire. There was total divine favor upon my life in this situation. Nothing could be done to have it or be taken away, it was a total gift and a beautiful gift at that. I moved out there only to find all hell breaking loose on me. People not liking me, feeling threatened by me and flat out jealous of me. (Which I may add that I handled everything really well. I didn't break down until I left.) I was there a total of four weeks and then came back. The reason wasn't to run from the confrontation or to escape the wrath of the people that surrounded him, he realized that it was best for everyone involved to take a step back and re-evaulate the situation, mostly him and I. Also to allow God to deal with the other people without feeling threated. So I am back in the town I have been trying to escape my entire life, waiting things out. I will eventually go back to Cali, probably towards the end of the year. In the mean time I have been going through more than I ever bargined for. I am questioning everything there is to question (which is a good thing. I have always taken things for what they were and always had answers. Now I'm on the bottom side of things and its a much needed percpective evaluation.) I have been questioning my calling, my worth, who I am, what I want, what its all for, life, death. the whole gamate of things. Its been a very neccessary season, hard but neccessary. In the two months (7 weeks) of being home I have hid from everyone i know, except my aunt whom I live with, not wanting anyones oppinions or advise that everyone seemed to freely force feed me. Trying to figure out things for myself, to solidly know for me. Its been somewhat of an uphill battle, trying to keep my head above water to not drown.